We crave romantic love, but it’s hard to find because it’s a combination of two things: chemistry and compatibility. You need to find someone who you’re attracted to and who you also get along with. There are, of course, other factors to love, like values and interests. But here I’m talking about the “spark” or early stages of a relationship.
Love is one of the most beautiful things in life. It brings happiness, joy and contentment. It is worth putting in the effort to find it, but people often sabotage their chances of finding love.
So, how do we sabotage our chances of finding love?
For a start, it is important to be patient, as there are some things you’re doing on a daily basis that may be harming your chances of finding love. This blog will explore the reasons why this might happen and how it can be fixed (so don’t lose hope!).
Here are 8 ways that could be making it harder for you to find your true love:
1) Being too picky about who we date – we think because we have high standards, people will see our worth and want us. The truth is that by not being open enough to dating different types of people, we miss out on opportunities with those who would otherwise like us. We also seem more unapproachable and less interested in others if we’re only looking for the ‘perfect’ person.
2) Calling people out on their bad behaviour – if someone is being horrible, insulting or abusive towards us, it’s important to cut them loose and not give them our time of day. However, this should be done in a calm, collected manner so as not to attract unwanted attention. Losing your cool, even if the other person is wrong, won’t get you anywhere.
3) Being too nice – everyone wants to be liked and treated well, so being kind makes others see us as more approachable. However, being overly nice can create ‘nice guy/girl syndrome’. If you are always the one to do favours, volunteer to help or give advice, you may come across as desperate and people don’t respond well to that.
4) Relying on others for love – one of the biggest signs of a lack of self-esteem is when we wait for someone else to approach us, make the first move or start a conversation. This is also known as ‘crippling social anxiety’. We are essentially saying that we are not good enough to love ourselves, therefore need someone else to validate our self-worth.
5) Holding grudges – holding on to anger and resentment can be very harmful for your wellbeing, as well as the way you interact with others. When someone upsets you, it’s important to consider their intentions and not think about what you could have done differently. If they apologise, accept it and try your best to move on.
6) Not standing up for ourselves – if someone is offending us or treating us badly, we need to put our foot down and tell them where to go. This should be done in a calm way, as we don’t want to seem like we’re argumentative or always fighting. We need to make sure they know that there is no room for their behaviour and give them the chance to apologise and change if necessary.
7) Putting others before ourselves – putting other people’s needs above our own may be something we do because we feel like it is the right thing to do and we don’t want to inconvenience anyone. However, we need to make sure we give ourselves enough attention and care too – this is important for our mental health and happiness, as well as allowing others to know that we are not a doormat.
8) Getting distracted by our phones – most of us use our mobile devices on a daily basis to keep in touch with friends, browse online and enjoy social media. However, if you are always glued to your phone, it can be seen as anti-social or that you’re not interested in the world around you. If you put down your phone for even an hour or two, you will see how many more people are out there.
My Create A Confident You coaching program will help you start thinking about the things you could be doing every day that are harming your chances of finding love, and address them before it’s too late.
We also should try to promote the good things in our lives, while not seeming cocky or arrogant. By making small changes to our daily routine and mindset, we can improve the way we interact with others and find more success in dating.
Fiona Craig is a life coach, psychotherapist, business mentor, and published author of the award winning self-help book, “Stuck in a Rut – How to rescue yourself & live your truth” helping women remove the fear, worry and guilt to confidently take the steps towards creating the life they want to live.
Fiona has been interviewed by The Australian Women’s Weekly, Women’s Fitness Magazine and The New Daily and written articles for Collective Magazine, Herald Sun Melbourne, Sunday Life Magazine, Career One, I Am Woman Magazine, plus Mouths Of Mums and other online publications. You can learn more about working with Fiona at www.lifebalancecoach.com.au or call 0405 433 217.
Source – http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/7-things-women-do-not-discovering-true-love-a7511211.
Flowers photo created by freepik – www.freepik.com