We’d all like the secret to living a successful life. No matter your age, where you were born or what you do for a living, it seems society places a lot of pressure on us to be successful.
What does success mean to you? I find that definitions differ greatly from person to person, so maybe I should check in to see if we are all on the same page.
Most people equate success with the Big Three: money, status and influence. Yet a majority of people are unable to obtain success – say through fame, wealth or power – because they are floating aimlessly through life.
If you want to be successful, you need to have some clear direction of where you want to go. You also need passion and purpose to really live your life.
You’ve probably noticed success brings the comforts of life, like a new car, house, financial freedom and travel. Success improves your physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.
Successful people are happier and thought leaders, like Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey and Richard Branson, are our greatest teachers for those who wish to overcome adversity and make the impossible seem possible.
In my work, nothing is more painful to watch than a client who is desperate to achieve their goal, but who can’t get started. The most common barriers to success that clients share with me are:
- An inability to tap into their intuition to make positive changes in their lives.
- Frozen with fear and at crossroads in life.
- Paralysed with fear and confused with what decision to make.
- And behind most of this is the same big old problem: a fear of failure.
It’s time to let go the fear of failure and start seeing that it’s actually the key to success, because when we let go of this fear, we can achieve our goals, embrace change and make life-changing decisions. We’re also more trusting of ourselves and others, more comfortable in our vulnerability, and better able to take risks.
If you want success more than anything, you have to risk the embarrassment of failure.
Success isn’t a science or secret formula. You don’t have to be a certain type of person to excel, so it doesn’t matter what field you are in; success comes to those that are prepared to change.
Would you like a formula for success?
Here’s a terrific quote I found on Daring to Live Fully website:
Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, so go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success. Thomas J. Watson
So what is one “fear of failure” strategy I use on clients?
During my sessions, I’m always listening to the client’s dialogue to hear how they speak about their topic. I pay close attention to their tone of voice, their energy level, their congruence with emotions, strengths, passions, and values; essentially, I listen for the “who” of the client.
Jane Benston wrote an article for Focus Leadership about how we can disempower ourselves through words. She writes that some words come with an emotional charge, but if we eliminate these words we can notice the difference in how we feel and the response we receive from those around us. Benston suggests noticing the sense of hopelessness and impossibility the next time you say something like “I feel overwhelmed”.
Now imagine replacing “overwhelmed” with the phrase “I’m a bit busy”, “I have a challenging schedule” or even “I am prioritising a heavy workload right now”. Notice the energy surrounding the statement is lighter and thus filled with more possibility.
- It’s hard. Saying something is hard gives the impression that it is almost impossible to achieve. Replacing it with the word “challenging” gives the task or situation a greater sense of possibility and even a sense of excitement.
- I’ll try. When you try to do something you have already assumed failure and you are simply making an attempt. In my view, it’s a bit of a cop-out! In the words of Yoda: “Do or do not. There is no try.”
- I’m okay. When someone asks how you are doing, instead of saying “fine” or “okay”, ramp up the emotional dial and say something like “I feel fabulous” or “I’m sensational!” As simplistic as this sounds, it creates a new pattern in your neurology and you will receive a quick injection of happy hormones.
Do one thing everyday that scares you. Eleanor Roosevelt
Are you willing to become a slayer of self-doubt?
If so, you are ready to go and grab success.
Do you have a clear vision?
Do you have a burning desire?
Are you willing to fail?
If you are, you are well on your way to achieving success.
Excerpt taken from Fiona Craig’s award-winning book, Stuck in a Rut: How to rescue yourself and live your truth available on Amazon, Angus & Robbinson, Collins, Dymocks and independent bookstores throughout Australia.
A paperback copy can also be purchased through Fiona Craig’s website, Life Balance Coach.
Fiona Craig is an NLP practitioner & life coach, psychotherapist, business mentor, and published author of the award winning self-help book, “Stuck in a Rut – How to rescue yourself & live your truth” helping women remove the fear, worry and guilt to confidently take the steps towards creating the life they want to live.
Fiona has been interviewed by The Australian Women’s Weekly, Women’s Fitness Magazine and The New Daily and written articles for Collective Magazine, Herald Sun Melbourne, Sunday Life Magazine, Career One, I Am Woman Magazine, plus Mouths Of Mums and other online publications. You can learn more about working with Fiona at www.lifebalancecoach.com.au or call 0405 433 217.
Picjumbo BY VIKTOR HANACEK