I’ve always loved keeping my life full. I still do.
Only now I am much more thoughtful and selective with what I fill it with.
Before I had my baby my life was a never-ending chorus of “busy.”
Insatiably social. Marvellously manic. Full and fabulously frantic.
And I LOVED having it that way . . . or, at least I thought I did.
I realise now, that keeping up a hectic pace and having a schedule bursting at the seams, was a bolster for feeling important. I used it to measure my value.
Feeling “busy”boosted my self worth.
Keeping myself “busy”was also a damn good distraction. It steered my attention away from what I really needed to focus on . . .
Listening to my inner guide and taking time for self reflection. Being self-aware and trusting my intuition. Discovering, nurturing and caring for the true “me”
“Busy”kept me preoccupied and numb.
When Baby Came to Town
Thankfully, Mother Nature took matters into her own hands and gifted me the solution. She knew the timing was perfect time for me to have a child.
I became a mum for the first time at 40 years old – and it was a huge wake up call.
Suddenly, here I was with a tiny bundle of joy that was completely helpless. A gorgeous baby boy who was totally dependant on me. I had no choice but to slam on the “busy brakes”big time.
Becoming a mum took me on a meditation retreat like no other.
I was forced to take a deep breath, slow down and completely surrender to being in the moment – and what a exhilarating, loved-up, all-encompassing retreat it was.
12 months prior, you would never have recognised me as the same person.
I was the girl who ran around 100 miles an hour, juggled a myriad of tasks in one day and who would never said no to an invite, in fear she missed out on something special.
But the crazy pace I maintained was slowly wearing me thin. I was mentally and physically exhausted and my immune system started shutting down in protest.
The arrival of motherhood was my blessing in disguise.
More than the inexplicable joy of becoming a parent, it taught me to exhale. To slow down and focus on today.
Having my baby taught me to listen to my inner-wisdom in a way I never had before.
To celebrate my wins. Not just the big, but also the small ones.
Best of all, having my baby taught me to “let go”.
Slow down so what you want can catch you.
Say no thank you today, so you can say yes tomorrow.
Make space for what you want to show up. ~ Danielle LaPorte
Finding the Courage to Let Go
Whenever a girlfriend or client asks me how I manage to fit everything in – being a fully present mum, a loving partner, and running a business – I tell them that I balance my life by “letting go.”
Letting go of the need for perfection and trying to do it all.
Letting go of comparing yourself to others or worrying about pleasing them.
Letting go of trying to find happiness externally, and instead seeking it within.
Finding the perfect balance in life is about embracing who you are today. It’s not about pushing and struggling or pursuing an “idolised”version of yourself that is always somewhere out of reach.
Today, I balance my life with choices. Choices that honour and nurture me rather than wear me down.
Choices that are aligned with my values.
Choices That Honour You
I choose being productive over busy – everyday I choose the 3 most important things I want to accomplish and give them my attention first. If I manage to do more then it’s a bonus. Everything else can wait.
I choose being creative over crazy – creating work that makes me feel inspired and innovative and proud to call my own.
I choose quality over quantity – setting aside time for a leisurely lunch with my girlfriends once a month, instead of squeezing in a bunch of random five minute conversations that feels rushed and incomplete.
I choose feeling gratitude over grievance – feeling thankful for how abundant my life is, instead of worrying about what others think, or what I don’t have. Serving others in a way that makes me feel generous.
I choose staying focused over frantic – knowing with absolute clarity what my vision is for the future and pursuing my short and long term goals with clear intention.
I choose having courage over certainty – being brave enough to say “no”to those things that no longer serve me, stepping out of my comfort zone and pushing through fears, even though I wont’know what’s on the other side.
Replacing Balance with Flow
Life will always take you by surprise. Throw another gnarly obstacle or two at you. But it’s how you choose to deal with the obstacles that truly matters.
Everyday I’m discovering something new I can let go of – a belief that no longer serves me, a toxic person, an item of clothing I know I’ll never wear again.
I’ve learnt that it’s ok to let go of what is no longer serving me. To trust that something better will be put in its place.
When I trust and have the courage to let each little thing go, I realise the more space I create for goodness to flow in.
Yes, that’s been my mantra for this year FLOW
When I’m in the flow – flow of creativity, flow of family, flow of love. .. all is well.
All is balanced in my life.
So life balance for me is about staying in the ‘flow’- and I have my beautiful little boy to thank for that awareness.
Thank you baby boy for enlightening me.
For teaching me to be in the moment – to let go and exhale
You taught me how to release the need to push in life and in it’s place how to “flow”
Thank you little one. Wise beautiful soul
You have liberated me.
~ Kym Mulcahy
So tell me . . . How will you choose to stay in the flow?
Kym currently resides on Sydney’s north shore with her partner and little boy.